Why come together at all, if not for love, in the name of love?

Today is a celebration of love, a commitment to a journey together, and a remembrance of why we are here. Not just at this wedding, but on this Earth…

After a meditation session recently, we spoke with K&K about the fact that it’s time to renew those old vows we’ve been hearing throughout our lifetime, and I wondered what words would come if they reflected our current understanding of love and spirituality.

 

So three days before their marriage, I sent a voice message to them saying something like: “Looks like I can make it to the wedding, I could try and write some words to read out in whatever place you deem appropriate.”

And they replied: “How wonderful that you’ll be holding our wedding ceremony!” And they put me in the schedule as ‘wedding ceremony’. 

So I thought—okay. Taoist monk hat: on.
: )

 

(Then I start writing, and I realise I don’t know how to spell the word marriedge, merriege, marriege :))

 

I titled the text: Why come together at all, if not for love? In the name of love?

And here is what came:

 

But, let’s first arrive together here, now. If you’d like, you can close your eyes for a moment, and let your body settle, let your mind soften…And let’s take a moment to breathe. Inbreath, outbreath.
…

Find your weight on the ground, a sense of your body sitting or standing there, breathing…

And a sense of the bigger body of us, all witnessing these two beautiful beings celebrating their love today.

 

A ceremony in a wedding is an important moment for us all. We are not just guests or spectators—we are witnesses. We are the village, the community, the circle, that will be here to support them through their hardships, rejoice in their joys, and remind them when they forget what is most important.

 

(Now I turn towards K&K and speak to them:)

 

This morning you married each other as civilians, and now, I’d like to propose another important part to your ceremony: The marriage to Love itself.

 

May the promise of commitment be first to that which underlies and supports each one of us and all that is. May it be to Love itself.

May it be a commitment to realization and awakening, and to the sometimes luminous and sometimes obscure journey of discovery of the truth of our Being. 

 

We gather here not just to witness the coming together of two selves, but to honor a deeper truth— that behind the veil of form and personality, there is one being, one light, one love, expressing itself in two bodies now choosing to walk together, in the name of that Love.

 

So here we do not vow to possess or control one another, or to become each other’s source of happiness, or to fulfil our own sense of lack through each other.

 

No, let us say:

I don’t have any right to dictate your behaviour in any way. Freedom is not mine to give, freedom is already yours. The freedom to choose, to be with me, and walk alongside for as long as it serves truth, love, beauty.

 

Here we vow to do our best to mirror each other’s light, and to care for it. We vow to remind each other that the source of our happiness is within, and love is already here, complete, in its full power, with or without the other.

 

Let us say:

I do not need you. And you do not need me to be whole,

May I reflect the wholeness that you already are.

May you stand rooted in the happiness and fulfilment that is prior and independent of our relationship,

and may I do the same, so that we can stand in our freedom, and love can move and flow freely between us. 

So that our togetherness can become an overflow of the Beloved, in relationship with everything.

 

May this marriage be a temple—a space where love can teach us, humble us, heal us, and reveal us. Where Love is held as our compass, our pillar, our guiding light, and our wise teacher we come to seek counsel with when things get hard.

 

So here is our ceremony to the ultimate marriage – a marriage with the underlying truth of every moment, motion, and form.  And here is our altar—an altar of surrender, to a love that is greater than the idea of two separate characters.

 

(Looking at the guests now: )

 

Let us take a moment to breathe,
exhale…
inhale…
and connect to that love together, and send our blessings to this couple…

 

For that, I’d like to introduce a little ritual. We will pass around their rings to our wider body and community, from hand to hand, heart to  heart,

Giving this relationship symbolically to what is greater. To the Greater Us.

Let us pass the rings through the circle of friends and family, and as each person holds them, let them offer their blessing— to truth, to freedom, to clarity, to beauty, to the love we all share, and that we all are. Not just for the couple, but for the greater Being we’re all a part of.

 

And as a community, from now on, let’s give them a gentle, humorous nudge when we see them lose alignment and integrity with this promise. 🙂

 

And let’s not put the rings in our pockets! : ))

 

The rings will begin passing around in 5 minutes, after this talk, over music. Make sure to leave the rings on this table, and throughout the evening come and give your blessings to the rings, and also leave written letters, with advice for their married life, love wisdom, and whatever you feel, in this basket. Nonsense is also welcome :).

 

 I will continue reading.

 

Relationship is not the source of love, it is an expression of it.

When we believe relationship is our source of love, we’ll inevitably suffer.  No feeling, situation, or sensation is fixed, or static. There is no holding onto anything here. It’s all dynamic, moving, changing, impermanent.

Lasting true happiness cannot come from trying to hold on to that which is impermanent.

 

May this marriage be an open hand to life’s ever-changing nature, may you be able to align and dance to the greater rhythm of things. And hear its music….

 

Let this marriage be an opening, not a closing or a stopping of your explorers’ heart.

May you allow each other to change, to evolve, to unfold, to become the bright free beings that is your birthright to become.

 

May we all be able to support you in your commitment of today to truth, love, beauty. With each other, as the whole.
Again not just for ourselves, but for the world we play a part in.

 

May this marriage be part of our sacred activism – a movement from the belief of separation to an experiential understanding of union. And – an expression of that understanding in relationship. And, why not also, a celebration of its discovery. 🙂

 

Until we truly remember the wholeness we already are, we misuse relationships. Instead of it being the temple where we explore, share and rejoice in love together, it becomes a transactional battlefield of the ego.

When we truly know the Love we are, then fear of loss won’t rule our choices, reactions, or ideas. But it’s not a sudden fix, it’s a journey, to take together. As Ram Dass said: “We’re walking each other home.”

 

You are so lucky to share this understanding!
To share a spiritual path, to share a passion for the exploration of truth.

 

May your love be a living vow—

not to possess one another, but to protect and uphold the love that brought you here in the first place. To support one another’s awakening and to mirror each other’s light.

 

So here is our ceremony,

and here is our altar.

And may it stay open.

 

You may kiss the groom, and you may kiss the bride : )

 

 

Thank you.

 

Music starting 

 

…

As the ring travels, so does our collective wish and prayer— may it be a blessing for us all, for the benefit of all.